Am I Part of a Disease Called Humanity That Is Killing Our World?
Yesterday I learned about the Gyres of plastic debris that exist in every ocean on earth. I just feel so depressed and hopeless after hearing about this. They are huge, bigger than state of Texas and growing rapidly. Animals that get stuck in them or eat the plastic die.
The plastic never fully degrades or decomposes – it just breaks into smaller and smaller pieces. These tiny bits of plastic attract toxic chemicals that would otherwise settle. Instead the plastic pieces keep the toxins in the water column. There the toxins are absorbed by microscopic life that then is eaten by larger and then larger organisms until the largest are so toxic scientists wonder how they stay alive.
I’ve been depressed about global warming, over population, pollution and the rapidly accelerating extinction rate of so many species. As horrible as they are, it seemed like we might be able to address these issues with technology and cooperation. Some very good things are happening. But this? How can we clean the oceans of trillions upon trillions of microscopic and toxic plastic particles let alone the larger ones?
What hurts the most is that I just feel like part of a disease called Humanity. I feel like I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be alive on earth. We shouldn’t. Humanity is a curse. And yet I see so many beautiful things in people. Such good hearts. I’m caught in this paradox, and I’m just fatigued and depressed. Everything I do adds to the load mother nature is carrying. Every time I start my car. Every product with plastic packaging. Every time I heat my home or turn on the lights. How can I possibly reclaim my sense of joy and enthusiasm for life?
If we each take whole-hearted responsibility to do our part to keep our footprint on this Earth consciously light with each action, that is extremely POWERFUL. And if we can engage in projects, communities, work, living situations, relationships, extra curricular activities, etc. that contribute to this vision, that too has a great impact. This energetic field we’re contributing to will vibrate outwards, and that is mighty beyond measure, though it may seem subtle.
I know the feeling of despair and hopelessness. As you say our species does have some saving graces. We really need a heart revolution and a political revolution. We shouldn’t fault ourselves for driving cars or heating our homes with unsustainable fuels, when our economic and political systems pretty much force us into those poor choices. We are making a lot of progress with solar energy! But not all of us can afford it still. Matt Kahn’s book gives me hope — Whatever Arises Love That, A Love Revolution That Begins With You as does AskLove.Org. Mata Amritanandamai talks about how nature never gives up, giving examples of animals. I wise I could go to the exact quote. Another thing that helps me is knowing that more and more people are waking up to the realities of our situation, and are dedicating themselves to make a difference. We can be much more effective when joining together with others, and the more we incorporate Stop, Drop and Ask, the more effective we will be as we work together.
Thank you for sharing this reflection. This post reminds me that I am not alone in my overwhelm, in my deep care, and in my willingness to look past cultural narratives. Thank you my friend, we are powerful when we recognise these strong and genuine feelings together. So thank you for enciting this power. With a boundless heart is our only response, as we know, and with reflections like this, we know that there is no neat solution. No way is there a tidy answer to your deep and spirited post my friend, for the facts and the tidy brain is powerless here to respond to your wonderfully sincere expression of despair. I feel this despair is an important place to meet each other, since it is very real, an has tremendous potential if met and transformed. But as you know, it is not yours to bear alone. We are here, and thank you for your courage to share that which people turn away from.