Dealing w/ a terminal Diagnosis
As my Birthmother tells me she has Stage 4 metastatic Breast Cancer, I feel an anvil crushing my heart space and a wave of raging heat coursing through my whole body. The constriction in my gut makes me feel nauseated and even hotter. I want to scream but I breathe deeply and remain calm. Why has she waited 3 months to tell me?! Precious time for which I would have moved mountains to spend with her. She had shut me out again like she did when she was given her Satge3 diagnosis 2 years ago. She is calm and playing it off like it’s no big deal. I cannot and will not swim in the river ofdenial about this. However, that is where she wants to be & how can I possibly dive in with her while being honest within myself? I intentionally lean away from fear and into love. Because that is what she so desperately needs , unconditional love. Still waiting for the anvil to lift so I can breathe again.