Exhausted from providing support
As I write this, I feel an exhausted heaviness overcoming my eyes, tightness in my neck and jaw and tension around my head. I’ve just spent the past few hours supporting a friend through a hardship she is experiencing, a situation that is somewhat frightening. The weight of her predicament sits in my stomach, vaguely reminding me of my own trauma when I experienced a similar situation year ago. My breath feels a bit short and tight. I am okay, but I am tired of these long days recently, one thing after another. I am grateful and honored to support her and I know I am the only person who can help in this particular way. But I am also deeply tired, both physically and emotionally, and trying not to be too worried about the outcome. The exhaustion seems to help soften some of the tension in my stomach, but my upper body remains tight.
I feel a mixture of love and constriction when I read this. I feel a warmth for you and a desire for you to be well. I also feel a weightiness, heaviness, constriction and feeling of hopelessness around the bottom of my ribcage. I hope that there is a way for things to all work out. I find a sense of relief in opening to the possibility of deep equanimity.
As I read this my chest felt tight, yet a softness behind it. It requires a lot of courage to hold space for others in their processes because we also get a glimpse of ourselves. I feel some tension in my neck almost as if holding back to some words thats really want to come out or tears. I send tender love to you, holding you and your friend in this moment, she is very lucky to have you.