Made the choice to go home after getting out late from an exercise class instead of going to my friend’s place for a game night, as I didn’t get much sleep last night and want to make sure I’m fresh for work tomorrow morning. Noticed a feeling of loneliness, feeling bummed. I kept trying to divert my attention, playing banjo, but it kept coming up, so I stopped, turned towards it and dropped in. Just a child feeling sad and lonely about missing out on a fun gathering with friends. It felt healing to sit with her, have her on my lap and love her. The loneliness melted away into love, the sadness remained. It feels good to allow the sadness to be okay.
Reading your post I am so happy that you felt held. I notice a feeling of anxiety and distress in myself. My own inner child wanting to feel loved and cared for. It feels like a three or four year old. She really doesn’t want to look at me, the adult self. I see my mom’s feet as if I am the child sitting on a curbside and can see the doorway of the house. The little girl me decides to turn and run to her mom to receive love, instead of staying on the curb. Sadness, and tears in my heart. Deeper labored breathing, a lump in my throat. Heaviness over my head and neck, compressed.
Staying aware. Deeper smoother breaths, lightening up of the heaviness, aura expanding outwards, yellow color, more tears and hiccoughs (resolving), really deep breath. Love and compassion for the little child. Good choice – choose love. Blue in aure. Pink. Rainbow in the sky. See an ocean with whales spouting. All is well. I am holding the child in my arms, and at the same time I am my dad, holding me. Crying real tears. Healing old wound of longing and separation.
Beauty. Stillness. Grace. Infinity symbol shows up again. Peace, expansion, gratitude.