I don’t know what to write, as I drop into my heart space to find what want to come through I feel bubbles of grief coming up around my dad’s divorce, and loss of my step-family. This loss has been happening for several years, and recently there was a severing of ties. I feel relief about the “ending” and getting to move on, but I still have a deep well of unresolved grief over the losses of those relationships. I can do a grief process to deal with this… I’m just wondering if you guys can reflect on coping with grief in your Heart Fluency practice?
Really an evocative question for this one, thank you. I appreciate your awareness around this.
As a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist may I offer that the lens of Heart Fluency offers a wonderful opportunity to experience the sensations of grief. As Heart Fluency is new to my experience I am only now exploring how more fully grief may be experienced in our practice. Largely the resolution, completion, and recovery from grief is in the allowing the feelings of it. Grief is a natural response to any loss, change in a familiar pattern, or the desire for anything to have been or be different, better, or more. Another aspect is what arises from INCOMPLETE COMMUNICATIONS and these may be associated in any and/or all of the aspects of grief I have mentioned. Grief is cumulative, and is capable of varieties of compression until grief has our full attention, and willingness to allow its expression.
Grief is praise! Grief is the natural way LOVE honors what LOVE misses. Our bodies remember what our culture has forgotten (sadly), and that is our bodies know how to beautifully and fully express Grief. Our need is to create a safe space (village or community) to allow our bodies to allow grief to move. Our bodies know what to do!
From the practical aspect, when we apply 3 recovery components to a relationship graph we gain clarity by connecting pen to paper. The 3 recovery components are, forgives/acknowledgements, apologies, and significant emotional statements. Sharing this with the Creator and witnessed by another forms a Holy trinity. Self, Creator, and other. Providence takes the invitation to move. Beauty, Joy and Praise can enter into the spaces held by unresolved grief.
I Love the transformational possibilities of the practice of grief.
As I drop into heart space with your ask, I experience a dense, heavy swirl–confusion and darkness. Sadness brings the cleansing waters and I feel my cheeks dampen. I breath and lightness expansion and calm opening. Aahhhh.
Wow, Katie <3 so much grief indeed in the severing of ties with your step-family. I feel a great dark sinking in the area surrounding my heart with an upward, constricted reaching which feels to me like grief and overwhelm around this loss as well as a certain pining for it to have gone a different way, for you to have been able to maintain ties even as the original couple decided on a different agreement. In any case, too much to feel at once. And perhaps that’s where HF comes in…feeling it in bite-sized pieces in a safe container, which could be tuning into the earth, our bodies and naturally caring hearts, connecting with Bruce during 1-1’s, or with our loved ones present or remembered, spirit guides, therapists, buddies, community. I have also been going through grief, and to process it through it has been key for me to connect with these loving figures at the same time that I feel the pain. To not be alone in it. Seems like that’s just what you’re doing, sharing what you are going through here with us on ask love. Thank you for staying connected with us through this, we are strong when we hold our pain together.
Such a difficult journey, loss and grief. As I drop into my heart space with this I feel the contraction of sorrow, the darkness of grief. As I hold these and allow space, allow for Big Sky to open up around me, the sky is so vast and large enough to hold all my sorrow and grief. As I sit with this, some of the darkness and contraction release into the vastness of the sky and I feel the warmth of the sun which morphs into the warmth of love I feel and I allow the sky to hold it all. Tears flow. Still the vastness of the sky holds it all. This heart still loves through the darkness of grief. A flower blossoms.