How do I hold my concern for a friend who is harming herself
I have in my life someone who is acting unskillfully and harming herself. My concern for her runs deep. It truly is out of my control, and efforts to help have proven to be counterproductive. How can I be caring, supportive AND authentic in a way that does not push her away?
God loves all creatures, indiscriminately, without need for them to heal. It is much more difficult for us humans to allow others to go down painful roads. I see this everyday in my work. I am slowly learning to detach. It is much much more difficult to detach with someone you know and love. Dropping into my heart, I see myself sitting with her in a neutral witness state, hands over my heart, seeing her with God’s eyes, and allowing her to fumble in her pain and darkness. Offering support or boundaries depending on what’s healthy for you.
My heart feel a strong ache for this person. It is so difficult to make good decisions when your eyes are closed and you don’t know how to care. It is dark and deep with much pain & many pitfalls. That is when I need my friends the most, just being there and caring and reminding her of her good heart.
As I breath into this, I feel anxiety running through my body, gurgling even, red and black colors. Contraction. As I continue to breath, I exhale the fear and anxiety. As I drop into my heart space, I get a sense of a dark shadow or “Mara” in buddhist terms. This is my shadow, who is a young child with unmet needs searching on the outside for relief from this burden. I can lovingly meet her, put my arm around her, and love her anyway. This is not who she is. Please do not make this my identity. I have a problem, but this is not who I am. Please help me grow my loving center by encouragement, and love. You can love me, and not like what I am doing to myself.
Immediately I experience it called black and teal void through which ice cream and only silence comes out. As I breathe deeply and I can open to the fact it is soon as I do so I am reminded of the Grace surrounding us all every minute of every day.
My heart expands and pulsates with knowing that this Grace does not judge ,neither does this beautiful Earth, Therefore, I choose not to either.
I See the image of myself floating cloud of Loving Detachment & I relax in a place of warm liquid Peace & Compasssion. 🙏🏼💗🙏🏼💗