How do you maintain a friendship with someone who is unreliable?

He has many good qualities however his word most often does not seem to have any weight behind it. And when I tell him this in a gentle way, he just gets angry and tells me my ego just wants to be seen. Am I crazy?

2 Response(s)

You are definitely not crazy.  I have a friend who often cancels and I recognize that is not my preference so I had to decide if the friendship was worth it to me and it was. In the end it may come down to whether what you gain from the friendship is worth what it cost. For me when I share what is going on with me and the person gets angry, especially if it was often, I am not sure that would sit well with me. How does it feel for you? Is this relationship valuable to you? Good luck! savannah

Responded on April 6, 2017.

I wonder what happens if ask with open ended questions? You wrote “when I tell him this…” and that has made me wonder about the process or technique used. you are gentle, so perhaps that same gentle curiosity could be used for an exploratory conversation?To what extent is this unreliability affecting your activities in practical terms? Can you plan in a bit of room for his unreliability?

You recognise the good qualities of the person which gives you a starting point for your considerations about the relationship.

Responded on April 13, 2017.