How much to help?
I have a friend (not in our course) who is close to a breakthrough. I can feel clearly what would unlock the situation, but I’m concerned that offering the information in a very direct way might rob him of the opportunity to discover the solution for himself. Could that be more powerful, or is it the same if I help?
My internal response to this question is taking me to a reflection on a Heart Fluency practice session I did with a friend on Friday. My intention was to be supportive and nurturing, his intention was to understand his painful sensation in his heart. As I’m writing this, I’m struck that his intention was phrased in a cognitive frame- understand. My learning from that session was that my intention was not his intention. In the end his intention did not come to fruition by the end of the session because I had steered him toward heart resourcing, when he really wanted to stay with the painful experience for a while longer to get a deep understanding. It could be that by giving your friend the key to unlock his situation may not be what he needs right now. That said, asking certain types of open-ended deepening questions could lead him to discovery. My heart senses your generosity and desire to support your friend, and I can feel that in myself too.
When I read your question and stop, I get a palpably “squishy” feeling in my heart, and a sensation of blood pulsing through my veins. The thought is that this is the “meat of life.” When I drop in to my heart there is warmth and expansion, love and appreciation. There is a thought of a baby… that one has to let a baby learn to do things, and trust their capacity. If it is done for them, they will not develop their skills. And there is warm compassion in my heart and a vibration that I can almost hear. There is a sensation of tingling or vibrating on a cellular level, a sense of connection to the other person as they discover something new (rather than pulling away) and supporting their discovery. My body shakes a bit. The thought is that it is like when grandfather clocks attune to each other. I notice a physical feeling of solidarity, shoulder to shoulder, on an energetic level. Accompaniment, and support. I can’t describe the physical sensation of being connected on a higher plane. Perhaps a blue and violet color, and purity like breathing in rarified air. There is warm, yellow light. A feeling of expansion in my chest. I feel happy. I am free of judgment or worry about judgment. Again the feeling of blood flowing through my body as it should. Open and trusting. Heart open, not guarded. Feeling unfettered, trusting divine process, knowing there is timeliness, feeling safe. Not judging myself or others. Relaxation. Not having to be in control. Tears of gratitude. It is OK to go through my own process at my own rate, to receive help and encouragement, to be trusted. Holding my inner child with a sense of high five. Good job. We are getting it!
Initially fascilating between putting myself in your shoes, or his…? As I drop into this, I find myself in his shoes. I feel a sense of contraction illuminating outward. I am here to help find my way. I am gently lead this way and that. The contraction morphs to an expansiveness as I trust in my own inner guidance. Knowing how sensitive I am to others inputs, and with an intention to strengthen my own inner guidance through heart fluency, I feel it far more valuable to find my own way. With that said, I also do welcome suggestions of paths to explore along the way. If ever I ask for input then I would welcome your input. Thank you.