Nothing to say
This coming weekend I will attend the Celebration of Life for my cousin’s daughter, who died of a brain tumor at 34. I have performed many of these Celebrations as a minister, even for family members. I am not involved in this celebration and my idea is that my cousin is angry at God for taking her daughter. As I hold her and the family in love, I know that words are insufficient. All I can do is be a loving presence.
I have also had the experience of no words being sufficient. As I sink into this, I feel uneasiness, anxiety and self judgement around my own expectations. I feel a contraction, and sort of a desperateness for something that might help others. I breath in the fresh, and out the contraction and self judgement. I feel myself blowing out in decompression, like a balloon deflating. There is a sense of luminosity with this of light sky blue to yellow, landing in a soft gentle billowy cloud, maybe heaven…. I am at peace there. Sometimes there just aren’t words, only empathy and being there. Thank you.