I find I am still in resistance to taking on a new practice. As I drop in, I feel the hardness of my heart. The color is blue gray. I open an feel the warmth and red and gold light surrounds my heart and fills my body. I ask, who is the me that is in resistance?The me who doesn’t want change. I release my stuckness, and open to expansion, to the realization that this is answered prayer. Joy, laughter, lightness.
I feel tightness in my throat and tongue, barely breathing. Bit by bit I sip air into my belly. I place one hand over my throat and one over my heart, and stay a while working with small sips of breath. Hardness and tightness. My tongue, throat, and jaw begin to soften, grateful for being in connection and support. Words of love start flowing from me… I love you…I want to love you… I’m trying to love you… I need love from you. I don’t understand these words, but my throat and tongue need to say them. It feel vulnerable and the supportive contact keeps my head of jutting forward, almost collapsing after all the tension has released.