Yesterday was a rough day – I held some pretty major space for two people in a row, really staying with their experience even though I was having my own reactions. It was a beautiful and new experience to be able to do that, and allowed for some healing for them. After, though, I really recognized that I needed to receive empathy as well. I gave myself empathy, recognizing my feelings and needs, and that kept me stable and in my resilience window, but it was only enough to keep me going. I contacted my therapist today, who reminded me how important it is to rest when I’m working so hard and stretching in so many ways. What naturally arose for me after that was a soak in the hot tub, then doing Ayurvedic self-massage to all my old favorite heart opening music…that’s what really ended up feeding me. I’d fallen off the boat with that lately; it was a reminder of how rich and healing that practice is for me, and how important it is for me to be doing regularly. It was particularly compelling around the heart area, dancing with the sensations and moving the energy physically with my hands. Tears flowed and then abated as my hands became the embodiment of my inner caretaker. I am thanking God for these practices that have been passed down.
Upon reading this I feel a huge expansion of my hearts space feeling waves of empathy and a bit of urgency. A tiny knit of cantravtinf in my throat chakra region as I reflect on how I have neglected self care for years resulting in disability. Then I breathe deeply to feel relief. I too, make a point to incorporate various Auyervedic practices for self care. A sense of warmth & lightness when I even think of doing them and gratitude fills my heart for the ancient wisdom that we have access to.
Now, I choose to sit in the massage chair ,at the car wash ,and deeply breathe in gratitude for this amazing vessel I get to care for. ????????????????