Should vs My Needs?

I constantly feel as if I’m doing things because I “should” be doing them – not because I actually want to. At some level, I wonder if I’m really connecting with a true sense of generosity or compassion. In any event, I feel the days going by and I’m of service to some degree, but I’m not sure of my effectiveness, and whether it makes a difference. Then there is the distraction of wanting to play on a sunny day. Any pointers for how I can connect to my authentic needs and achieve balance between my desire to be useful, and my life.

2 Response(s)

Oh, this is such common situation for so many people. There is that expression “You don’t want to Should on yourself”. I navigate this for myself with the Heart Fluency practice whose steps are Stop, Drop & Ask. Whenever that choice point comes up. I Stop, Drop into my heart and geel what’s alive there – is there contraction or expansiveness, pulsing or vibration or stabbing, warm or cool, heavy or light? Is there a color associated with the energy? In this way, I move beyond a conceptual connection to the direct alive experience which is necessary to tap the heart’s wisdom. Lastly, I Ask sincerely and innocently for love’s guidance. I’m open and curious like a child and my attention is like a cat at a mouse’s door looking for whatever may arise from the heart space. Whatever does emerge, whether it is an image, an intuition, an emotion, a memory or even words, my head get immediately interested. “What’s that” it says. Then it explores what has arisen, looks for the message and articulates and supports it. Now my head and my heart are aligned and I’ve tapped my full potential to move forward.┬áIt is like tapping an inner oracle that is always available to you. Great for discernment. Blessings and hope this helps.

Responded on March 10, 2017.

I am late to this party – here is a short snippet video from Caroline Myss

with Oprah discussing a similar question.

 

Responded on April 13, 2017.